As the former vice-president of the Ohio Bureau for the Ethical Treatment of Pugs, I must state, unequivicably, that the pictures of pugs shown on this web site are truly appalling. To use and manipulate this fine and noble breed for the benefit.... of what? A few laughs? Our foremost investigator of pug abuse has indicated to our office that these pugs were COERCED into "performing" for owners who were intent on selling these exhibitionist photos to European "art" museums. The pugs were routinely threatened with starvation and cage confinement. Interviews with the pugs also indicate that due to their excessive good nature, they only played along with the photographers so as not to hurt their feelings. I have the written statements from each and every pug shown and you WILL hear from our lawyer tomorrow.
Hello. My name is Davenport Perblixen. I am the president of the Ohio Bureau for the Ethical Treatment of Pugs. How could you? To exhibit such vile images- how awful. We at the bureau have dedicated our lives to the accurate portrayal of a breed known for its intelligence, wit, compassion, and physical skill. We at the bureau are all horrified and repelled by what you have done. My current pug, Mr. Wangfu, was visibly shaken when he came across those hurtful images on your blog. How could you? I know I speak for all the 654,987 members of our society in saying that we will find you- we will hunt you down and bring you to justice. We will then dress you up in little American Girl or Barbie outfits and exhibit you in a mall and take photographs and sell them to European "art" museums and then we will take you to Snartle, Oklahoma where the Pug Hall of Fame is located and lock you in a glass case for display purposes.
What a delightful collection of pugs you have here! I quiver with anticipation when thinking about your next pug post, although I'm not quite sure how you could top these. Perhaps you could locate a picture of a pug knitting an angora scarf for your next pug photographic smorgasbord? Or how about a video of a pug dressed 16th century garb reciting Donne's "The Flea"? I believe if you contact Sir Henry Eggleg Johnson, the Head Archivist at the Pug Hall of Fame in Snartle, OK, he could help you find such treasures to add to your already wonderful collection.
I really must apologize. My aged grandmother, Amelia Proudfit, recently escaped from the Tarpledorf Insane Asylum and has been sending out thousands of nonsensical e-mails on the Dell laptop she stole from a local Best Buy. My grandmother suffers from a severe form of Wapsidic dementia and can barely tell her ass from her elbow. My grandmother once owned a fawn colored pug, Wind Feather, and treated her with the utmost love and respect. Had my grandmother been in possession of all her mental faculties, I am sure she would have been revolted by the images presented on this blog. Again, I apologize. Anyone who sees a ninety-six year old woman wearing nothing but an old bathrobe and carrying a laptop in the vicinity of Rackroar, Iowa- please let me know. My number is 523-654-9899. Thank-you.
As the former vice-president of the Ohio Bureau for the Ethical Treatment of Pugs, I must state, unequivicably, that the pictures of pugs shown on this web site are truly appalling. To use and manipulate this fine and noble breed for the benefit.... of what? A few laughs? Our foremost investigator of pug abuse has indicated to our office that these pugs were COERCED into "performing" for owners who were intent on selling these exhibitionist photos to European "art" museums. The pugs were routinely threatened with starvation and cage confinement. Interviews with the pugs also indicate that due to their excessive good nature, they only played along with the photographers so as not to hurt their feelings. I have the written statements from each and every pug shown and you WILL hear from our lawyer tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHello. My name is Davenport Perblixen. I am the president of the Ohio Bureau for the Ethical Treatment of Pugs. How could you? To exhibit such vile images- how awful. We at the bureau have dedicated our lives to the accurate portrayal of a breed known for its intelligence, wit, compassion, and physical skill. We at the bureau are all horrified and repelled by what you have done. My current pug, Mr. Wangfu, was visibly shaken when he came across those hurtful images on your blog. How could you? I know I speak for all the 654,987 members of our society in saying that we will find you- we will hunt you down and bring you to justice. We will then dress you up in little American Girl or Barbie outfits and exhibit you in a mall and take photographs and sell them to European "art" museums and then we will take you to Snartle, Oklahoma where the Pug Hall of Fame is located and lock you in a glass case for display purposes.
ReplyDeleteWhat a delightful collection of pugs you have here! I quiver with anticipation when thinking about your next pug post, although I'm not quite sure how you could top these. Perhaps you could locate a picture of a pug knitting an angora scarf for your next pug photographic smorgasbord? Or how about a video of a pug dressed 16th century garb reciting Donne's "The Flea"? I believe if you contact Sir Henry Eggleg Johnson, the Head Archivist at the Pug Hall of Fame in Snartle, OK, he could help you find such treasures to add to your already wonderful collection.
ReplyDeleteI really must apologize. My aged grandmother, Amelia Proudfit, recently escaped from the Tarpledorf Insane Asylum and has been sending out thousands of nonsensical e-mails on the Dell laptop she stole from a local Best Buy. My grandmother suffers from a severe form of Wapsidic dementia and can barely tell her ass from her elbow. My grandmother once owned a fawn colored pug, Wind Feather, and treated her with the utmost love and respect. Had my grandmother been in possession of all her mental faculties, I am sure she would have been revolted by the images presented on this blog. Again, I apologize. Anyone who sees a ninety-six year old woman wearing nothing but an old bathrobe and carrying a laptop in the vicinity of Rackroar, Iowa- please let me know. My number is 523-654-9899. Thank-you.
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ReplyDelete'randal' needs to chill....
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